As a twenty-six-year-old woman, I am still stuck in the stages of finding who I am and loving myself. I became a mom of three(now four) within the span of three years and during that time I never had a chance to focus on me and my wants. I pretty much let motherhood consume me and because of that, I completly lost my identity and my sense of self. It slowly led me down a dark path and even to this day I am still trying to put all the pieces back together of what was my life. I am more aware of myself now, but even so, I still have days where I feel completely lost. I feel like one minute I am on the right track and then the next mintue I am confused about what to do next. I realize now though, the reason why I have a hard time trusting in myself is that, I haven’t let go of the control I have over myself. I haven’t fully given my trust to God. It’s not that I don’t want to it’s that I don’t know how to. I’ve held so tight onto my life for so long I have a hard time letting go of it. I have been working with a spiritual mentor and it has helped me tremendously, but I am still very much a work in progress. However, I am starting to believe that if I stop saying “work in progress,” my life will start to see some changes. I have also been working on building my self-confidence up. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know what it means to be confident. I know now confidence is more than just wanting to “look good,” but it also includes your mental and emotional well being. Confidence is alot more than what we see on the surface. When I see a confident woman whether it be on social media or in person, I no longer think she’s confident because she “looks good.” I know that she’s confident because she built up all areas of her life(physical mental, emotional). As I am walking into a new journey in my life, I am also learning to implement four powerful habits to help build /boost up my self confidence. They are:
- Embracing/loving everything about myself
- Positive Self Talk
- Taking care of every part of myself inside/out
- Smiling More
Embracing/Loving Everything About Myself
“Everything starts with you.” The hardest part every woman struggles with when it comes to confidence is embracing the bad with the good. We can’t love some parts of ourselves and not love the others. A part of building your self-confidence is accepting all your imperfections no matter how big or small they are. My biggest downfall is continuously tearing myself down because of one small imperfection. I can see something I don’t like (Ex: a mole on my face) and have a meltdown like a child. It’s true I have moles on my face & of course, I hated it. I’ll admit I still don’t like having molds on my face, but this one mole I’ve come to love. Surprisingly it’s the biggest mole on my face. Honestly, I love my mole it adds some uniqueness to my face. I also know that I am lucky to have it because people are actually getting moles as tattoos now. Always remember something you hate about yourself others will love to have it. We weren’t given certain things as a punishment but rather as something that makes us unique and even more beautiful. Love everything about yourself and watch how your confidence shines through others.
Positive Self Talk
If you are constantly speaking negatively about yourself, how do you expect to build up your confidence? I’ll be the first to admit I have a tendency to say all the things I don’t like about myself and continue to dwell on it until I convince myself I am not pretty/good enough. When we continue to speak negativity over ourselves we are lowering our self-esteem each time. You don’t build up self-confidence by tearing yourself down. As I said before “everything starts with you.” Start speaking positivity over yourself. When you look at yourself in the mirror tell yourself everything you love about yourself. Admire your inner and outer beauty. Make a list of affirmations that speaks self-confidence into you. Don’t underestimate the power of positive self-talk. Every confident woman is confident because she speaks it into herself.
Taking care of every part of myself inside/out
Apart of self-confidence also involves self-care. When you begin to nourish yourself inside and out you become more aware of yourself. You begin to understand what makes you happy as well as what you love to do. Self Care has always been something I’ve always neglected since becoming a mom. I always made myself my least priority and it showed. As I am entering into a new journey in my life, I am making myself a priority again. I am learning to practice self-care in many different ways that make me happy inside and out. I am slowly tapping back into womanhood and becoming a better version of myself (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Self Care and self-confidence go hand in hand. Don’t neglect yourself because you deserve to feel happy about the woman you are/becoming. Self Care is at the top of my list and I am not leaving myself to hang this time around.
“A woman with a beautiful smile can conquer anything.”
My smile is my biggest asset. I’ve always been told I have a beautiful smile and quite frankly I’ve been taking it for granted. I don’t smile as much as I should. When I do smile I feel wonderful and happy. It’s so crazy how every picture I take my best ones are the ones when I smile. Your smile can lit up an entire room. No one can outdo or bother a woman who smiles. It doesn’t where you are in life always make sure you smile through it all. A woman who smiles is a woman with confidence. I’ve witness plenty of people question if someone is okay because they are always smiling. As women people become intimidated when we are unbothered and smiling. No matter what people say or think of you, always smile and show off those beautiful teeth. I will be doing the same. 2020 is a year of smiling everyday!
Having self confidence doesn’t make you arrogant or full of yourself. Having self confidence makes you an overall better woman. People hate what they can’t understand. Always rememebr you are in control of your life and you have the power to do as you please. Being confident is part of growing and learning about ourselves as women. Don’t ever feel guilty for holding your head high and being unbothered by others who have something negative to say.
You are strong
You are brave
You are bold,
You are beautiful
You are powerful
And you are confident in your own skin.