As a SAHM for now five years, I can honestly say it’s a struggle. I am a mother of four, with my youngest being six months. Although I am grateful to be home with my children now more than ever, being home with them requires a great deal of patience, time, and sacrifices. Everything that glitters ain’t gold and being a SAHM is one of those things that is both good/bad. On my good days I enjoy and soak up every minute I have with my children and get teary-eyed at the thought of them leaving, LOL. On the other hand, when I have bad days I want to pull every hair on my head out and run away with the wind! HA! However, despite both the good/bad days, there are days were I struggle with certain things. The biggest
- Time Management
- Setting A Proper Schedule
- Self Care
I know I am not alone when I say, time is of the essence. Yes, even with twenty four hours in a day this mom is still trying to figure out were does the time go? If I had to guess, I’ll say it went down the drain along with my freedom, LOL. After waking up, the mother in me is activated and it seems like I never have enough time in the day to complete everything I need to do. I mean I barely have time to brush my teeth every morning or even eat a nice hot meal by myself. Most of my mornings have been chaotic to say the least and it honestly has become overwhelming and exhausting. At this point I am ready to throw in the towel and let them be someone else’s problem, LOL! I realize now though, the reason I have such a hard time with time management is because I am not utilizing my time wisely. Remember when I said being a SAHM requires sacrifices, well one of those sacrifices is sleep. I’ve decided to take my mornings back and in doing so I lose about 1-2 hours of sleep. It’s definitely a struggle waking up everyday at 6:30AM, but my mornings have been a lot more peaceful. I feel more energized, motivated, and most of all happy. As mothers it’s important to have some alone time because it allows us to clear our mind and be mentally prepared to deal with whatever our kids decide to throw at us. I am still very much a work in progress, but the more I utilize my time by being productive, the more functional and organized my days become. Everyday still isn’t perfect, but for the most part I am learning they never will be.
Setting A Proper Schedule
Schedule? What is that? Seriously setting a schedule was something I’ve always dreaded. Mainly because I thought it was unrealistic to put four children, that are four different ages, and have four different personalities all on one schedule. I could barely get all of them to eat at the same time, so how was I going to get them all to cooperate with a schedule. I just put it off for along as I could. I thought I could handle them without a schedule, but I have proven myself wrong. My days without a schedule has been dysfunctional, chaotic, loud, and extremely exhausting. I am constantly yelling commands nearly at the top of my lungs (put this down, don’t do that, take a nap) and the list goes on. It has become way to much for me to handle and once again I am ready to throw in the towel. I know I am to blame, so I won’t make any excuses for myself. I have tired putting them on a schedule, but it didn’t work out as I thought. I realize now though, I didn’t have a clue as to what a proper schedule was. I really didn’t even know what a schedule looked like for toddlers, LOL! I have gotten a mentor and she has walked me through the whole process of creating a proper schedule that works for our lifestyle. I have started implementing the schedule, but it is a work in progress. I am going to keep trying and push through because children need structure, especially now (Corna-Virus) more than ever.
Self – Care
Throughout my entire time as a SAHM or rather a mother in general, self care has always been my least priority. I had committed myself to being a full-time mother, that I lost my entire identity in the process. Most of my days consisted of me walking around with my hair sticking on top of my head all while I am still in my night gown, Yikes! I really had a hard time doing the simplest thing for myself and it had a lot to do with me not seeing the beauty in myself. I was my biggest critic. I talked down on myself heavily. I criticized my hair, clothes, skin, weight, anything you name it I had something negative to say. I was so overwhelmed and drained mentally, I couldn’t find the beauty in me or rather anything positive to say about myself. It made me bitter, sad, and angry. I was so overpowered with being a mother, that I used that as an excuse for why I couldn’t at least make myself look decent (brush my hair, put on a nice outfit, etc). I was really tired of feeling that way and looking like raggedy Ann all the time, that I made a promise to make myself a priority again. Before becoming a mom I always took pride in myself and did everything to make me feel good and confident (shopping, pedicure, manicure, eyebrows arched, etc). The remaining of 2020 and every year after, I want to make self care a priority. I want to get back to the Bria I was before becoming a mom. Taking care of me inside & out allows me to function better as both a mom and woman. It also makes me feel amazing! Self Care truly is something no mother should avoid or neglect.
Mom’s need guidance and improvement to. Motherhood is truly a learning experience and everyday I am reminded that I won’t always have it all together. By acknowledging my mistakes, I am giving myself room to grow as both a mom/woman. I am learning everyday that it’s okay to make mistakes and in fact fail because failure prepares me for what not to do the next time. I remind myself everyday that I am a work in progress. I am constantly learning something new about myself & my children everyday.